tailor_made | The Principal's Office

Must be shock.

[Is it? He doesn't...really know. She's alive. She can bleed. Why would she not feel pain? He knows there's been some problems with her lately, he's been trying to figure them out, but -

- but maybe this isn't one. Why would he want her to hurt?]

Let me just get this fixed. [Hester's leg is fixed, like nothing ever happened. It works, it happens; Will lets out a small sigh of relief to see the damage abruptly vanish.] There. Is that better? How does it feel?

Yeah...the shock... [Hester touches her leg gingerly, free of blood and glass, perfectly fine. Not even a run in her stocking. It's not a surprise, she's seen him do magic from the day they'd met on the train. Truth be told even now, months later, she still gets a little dazzled when he does it.] It's-it's better. Thank you.

[She sits there quietly for a long minute, just looking at the spot where the wound had been, before slowly raising her eyes to look at Will.]

Mr. Weidman, why me? What made me special enough for you to choose me?

[This is fine. This is better than asking him why she was included in Salieri's photo. Asking what's wrong with her, why her sleep comes in fits, why she keeps remembering the wrong things about her own life.]

[Assured that the damage is fixed, Will gets up off the ground and sits heavily next to her on the couch. His hands are shaking, he notices absently. He hadn't realized he was that upset...

But Hester asks a question, and he just folds them together to keep the tremor from being visible. He's got a lot of practice at that sort of thing - no worse way to ruin a loop than by letting someone see how off-script he'd gotten.]

I - [That's a hard question to answer. Will thinks for a moment, then looks away with a pained smile.] - I guess I can...see a lot of my younger self in you.

[How many times has he said that? How many times has he said that? She's like Rachel and Finn all at once, and even -

- he takes a breath. Don't let them see you go off-script.]

[Hester watches him, tries to take in his every facial tick. Something inside her is telling her there's more to it, that he's keeping more secrets- but more than that she doesn't want to believe he is. He cares about her. He wouldn't lie to her, even if he does have a few secrets.

She reaches over and lays her hands over his. Her mind is still racing from the adrenaline, questions just flying from her mouth without much thought as to why she needs to ask them now, just that she needs to talk or she might explode or lose time again or worse.]

What is it you see though? You didn't know me before we met on the train- did you?

[He blinks down at the hand, as if surprised to find it there.]

...I knew your type. A small-town kid heading off to the city, looking for a dream to follow?

[His mouth twitches in something that can't quite become a smile. It's so strange to think about a time when that was his greatest goal. Performing in New York. Seeing Rachel follow that path in his stead. Like any of that ever really mattered.]

You...reminded me of...an old student of mine.

What's her name?

[Why is that her first thought? Why does she suddenly want to know everything about this person she's never met or about his life before? Surely he'd told her a little about it- at Denny's maybe? He had to of. Why doesn't she remember?

Hester grips his hands harder, staring at him with an expression that's starting to border on desperation.]

What was she like, Will?

[Will looks at Hester again, startled by the sudden intensity.]

Rachel.

[..."You're an adult now, Rachel. Call me Will."

At least, he thinks it might have gone that way. That distant, impossible future is so long gone now that Will barely remembers half of what happened, much less anything so specific as a conversation. The only reason he knows that he must have told Rachel something like that is because...well, he'd reflexively corrected her in a few of the earliest loops, when she'd gone back to "Mr. Schue". Back to being a high schooler. In that context, it'd been pretty weird.

...when has he ever told Hester the same?]

What...why do you want to know?

...Funny. That's my middle name. [It is, isn't it? Or was it Lucy? Or Brittany? Or Tina? She doesn't think it's Tina.]

You know everything about me, from my life before. I know we talk all the time, like how we talked at the diner, but I feel like we hardly ever talk about you. We're supposed to be working together, we're a team and I... [She trails off, her lower lip starting to tremble and her coherent thoughts starting to dissolve before she can give them a voice.]

...I don't know. With my blackouts and my sleep problems and- [Salieri, taking the time to bring her pie and tea and talk with her for hours about anything.] -the game, I just...I feel like I'm going crazy. And that I'm not making any sense. Am I?

[Will frowns, turning fully on the couch to face her and taking her hands in his.]

You're not going crazy, Hester. I know things haven't been great. I know you're...having trouble.

[He doesn't know why. He's tried to fix it, but it persists. He doesn't even know how to figure out what to do, not the slightest idea of where to begin - ]

But I promise, everything is going to be okay. You're going to feel better and - and none of them are going to stay dead. This is all just temporary. Just a few more weeks, and it'll all be over.

[They're still not talking about him.]

[She blinks back the tears that are threatening to fall but can't stop herself from trembling.]

I know, I know. They'll all be back and okay in the end- [And forget it all.] I just hate that I can't tell them. Or why. They come to my office to talk to me and I can't...I can't tell them it'll all be okay. They think we're doing this just to make them suffer and I can't explain- [She hiccups and lowers her head to rest her forehead on their entwined hands.]

...I care about them. I'm so tired of making them hurt, Will.

...if you feel you've lost your stride,

[Will works one of his hands free, to lay it on Hester's head and stroke her hair.]

principles can be your guide.
Concentrate on what's inside
Stay clear...

I know. If this could be accomplished any other way, I'd do that. [If he could trade his own life, he'd have done it in an instant - but he can only trade other peoples'.] But in the end, they're gonna get what they want. They've been trying to make it so this never happened, too, just like we are.

But if they get what they want, it'll all have been for nothing. That's what happened last time - I failed, and that meant all that suffering was for nothing. I can't let that happen again. We need to fix this.

People may not understand
why you plan the things you plan.
Do not let them turn your hand.
Stay clear...
Stay clear.

[She leans her head into his hand, trying to internally steady herself but it feels...hollow somehow. Like there's a void inside her that didn't used to be there but is so slowly growing. Still, she very quietly starts to finish the verse.]

The time is soon to bloom or bleed;
Fall behind or take the lead.
Only...

[Mumble Sissi Connor SQUIP Balladeer Rina Varian Salieri Discord Elle Orpheus Eurydice-]

...Only death is guaranteed.
Stay clear.
Stay clear.

When we fix them...they won't remember. They'll forget the game and each other and us. [No one deserves to be forgotten-] But Maya, she's offered to help so many times since she's been here. And she's so smart- they all are when you really get down to it but especially Maya, you've seen her at the trials- are you sure we can't ask-?

[There has to be something, something they haven't considered about to fix everything. Something that won't lead to more suffering for anyone, him included.]

The Principal's Office

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