The Principal's Office

[tailor_made]

The door to the principal’s office is open at all hours, although you will only find Hester at the receptionist’s desk from 8:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. This is primarily where you can have private conversations with her. Though there’s an actual office in the back, it is always closed and locked.

Comments

[comeandfindme]

Hester?

[ Her hands almost shoot back in surprise. Does she have a fever? Is she sick? What's happening to her? Peregrine decides to swing around the desk's other side, if possible. ]

Are you sick?

[tailor_made]

I'm not, I swear. I just- [She can swing over to the other side! Very easily in fact, it's just a wooden flap separating the two sides. Hester curls in on herself a little, hunching over her desk.]

I haven't...really slept, not since the sleepover. I'll get about an hour here and there but... [She trails off, almost like she's embarrassed to admit it.]

[comeandfindme]

[ Okay, well, Peregrine moves so her hands are on Hester's shoulders. ]

What the fuck? Why— how can you not sleep? The human body starts to freak out after three days.

[tailor_made]

I've gotten some! Just...not a lot. [Of course it would have to be Miss Dead Reckoning who gets to chastise her about this.] I...can't. Every time I try, I start having dreams. Then I wake up. [She takes a breath, holds it, then lets it out slowly.]

At best I can fall asleep again in a few hours and stay that way for a little bit. At worst I don't sleep the rest of the night and take a cat nap at my desk. Farrah didn't like that very much though.

[comeandfindme]

Why didn't— [ Not important. ] What dreams? How are they so bad that...that they keep you awake that long?

[tailor_made]

It's not that they're bad, it's just...I dream about my high school, the families I've been with, my extra circulars. It all plays out exactly how I remember but something's always wrong or off. Like my favorite foster dad would be in the middle of my dance class or my school colors are wrong.

That's when I wake up and my body is so wired that it won't let me settle back down, even if it's something small and inconsequential.

[comeandfindme]

[ Is that what’s making her forget? No, it can’t be, that seemed…too conspicuous. ]

…What the hell… You’ve never used anything to help? Any sleep aids?

[tailor_made]

I tried when it first started but they didn't do much. Drugs don't tend to do much for me. [She starts to turn her head, to crack one eye open to look at Peregrine but just ends up wincing.]

Peregrine, can I tell you something...?

[comeandfindme]

[ Right now, looking down at Hester, it’s hard to see the person Peregrine’s spent night after night directing her anger at, in lieu of a face to give the Wizard that isn’t that mechanical mockery. It’s hard to see a person complicit in all this. There’s the person who let her have a quiet moment with Connor. The person who cleaned his blood off her deerskin leather.

The person who kept Salieri and Discord and Benjamin from making an awful mistake out of love.

And right now, that person just seems sad and scared and hurt. ]

…Yeah. Yeah, what?

[tailor_made]

...I'm sorry. For what I said that first day to you. I didn't mean- [She takes a shaky breath, a lump growing in her throat.] I'm not good with words when I'm not reading someone else's. Sometimes I say things and I...can't get my point across how I want them to. They sound perfectly reasonable in my head because I know what I mean but then I start talking and-

[She still remembers how Peregrine had stormed out that first day. How hurt she'd looked and how much hurt she'd had to endure since then. Kicking off a domino effect of Peregrine's Pain Olympics.

She hadn't even meant Jacob at the time but in the end it doesn't even matter who or what she meant. It just matters that it hurt.]

It's not an excuse. I'm not asking you to forgive me, for anything. But I just wanted you to know...I'm sorry.

[comeandfindme]

[ It’s the last thing Peregrine had expected, despite the turn their conversation’s taken. That first day seems so far away now, after Mumble and Connor, the Balladeer, Rina and Varian and the cold night in the woods—

She shivers. It’s like she told Janis, she’s sure it’s psychosomatic. But she can’t seem to stop shivering, no matter how warm she is. ]

I… [ She nods. It’s not forgiveness. That’s right. But it’s an acknowledgement. Peregrine sniffles down something to keep herself stable. ] …Okay. Thank you. For that.

[ She removes her hands from Hester’s shoulders. But she doesn’t step away, just yet. ]